# STAYING ALIVE: Sean Hayes! - **Show:** SmartLess - **Published:** 29 Oct 2026 - **Source:** https://www.smartless.com/ - **Transcript:** https://podcasts.opennash.com/shows/smartless/staying-alive-sean-hayes-1e5b68/ - **Provider:** OpenNash Podcasts (machine-generated) ## In brief Sean Hayes argues that lasting health comes from imperfect, practical adjustments rather than strict discipline. After a lifetime of eating whatever he liked, bad blood work pushed him to cut sugar, take medication and exercise, but he admits he never learned balance. The hosts, Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally, share their own struggles with sleep, drinking and appetite. The conversation moves between health and the physical toll of performing. Hayes compares Broadway to sport: eight shows a week, tight eating schedules and constant worry about his voice. He contrasts that with the easy four-hour days of multicam sitcoms (filmed with several cameras before a live audience) and the 'play-like' feel he thinks modern sitcoms have lost. The tension is between the adrenaline of performing and the toll it takes. ## Key insights 1. **Bad blood work forced Hayes to change** Hayes says decades of eating what he wanted, including regular Häagen-Dazs, produced high triglycerides, high cholesterol and early soft plaque. Only then did he cut sugar, flour and rice, and start medication. 2. **Balance for Hayes means alternating bad and boring days** He says he never learned moderation, so a spaghetti, meatballs and milkshake dinner is followed by turkey on Ezekiel bread and fruit. The hosts describe doing the same with their whiskey habit. 3. **Broadway performers have to schedule their eating** Hayes says lunch has to be timed to avoid acid reflux and phlegm on stage, but then he is starving at 11 PM. Late pasta and wine seems unavoidable, which is why he asked for seven shows a week and an earlier curtain. 4. **Multicam sitcoms run on short, writing-driven days** Hayes says Will and Grace director James Burrows had the cast working about four hours a day because the work was in the script. He says this made even Saturday Night Live feel slow by comparison. 5. **Hayes thinks modern sitcoms lost their play-like feel** He argues that older shows were called teleplays because actors played to each other, not the audience. He says heavy lighting, editing and loud sound mixing now work against that. ## Questions this episode answers ### Why did Sean Hayes change his diet? His blood work showed very high triglycerides, a type of blood fat, and cholesterol, and he had started forming soft plaque in his arteries. He then cut sugar and white flour and began exercising. ### What medications does Sean Hayes say he takes? He says he takes metformin, a drug that helps control blood sugar, for prediabetes. He also takes thyroid medication and a statin, which lowers cholesterol, and he says he is not on GLP-1 weight-loss drugs. ### Why does Hayes say Broadway is like being an athlete? He says actors repeat the same physical movements night after night, so the body needs refuelling. He adds that eight shows a week is tough, and a performer cannot be sick, tired or upset. ### What is the show DINKs that Jon Gabrus mentions? Gabrus says it is an Amazon sitcom from Marta Kauffman, with Paul Scheer and June Diane Raphael as a married couple renovating a house. DINKs stands for double income, no kids, and Gabrus plays their nephew. He says it is shot before a live audience with improvised scenes. ### What was Hair Jacked? Hair Jacked was a game show set in a hair salon, produced by Hayes's company Hazy Mills. Gabrus hosted it for one season, and the loser of each game got a bad haircut. ## Facts - **Sean Hayes** [0:00:12]: "It was like I had creme brulee for blood, like I had it was just sugar and fat all the way" - **Sean Hayes** [0:00:43]: "all seventy-six years. I've been eating what I want." - **Sean Hayes** [0:05:20]: "I've always had super high triglycerides, like, really bad, and then the cholesterol and whatever." - **Sean Hayes** [0:06:08]: "it says, like, half of a cup has, like, twenty-five grams of sugar, and there's, like, I don't know how many cups in there" - **Sean Hayes** [0:07:53]: "I started forming soft plaque and all this stuff, so that's what's keeping me alive." - **Sean Hayes** [0:14:47]: "we would get to work at 10, and we'd be done at two, four, four hours a day." - **Jon Gabrus** [0:15:28]: "it's called Dinks. Double income, no kids. Uh, Paul Scheer and June Diane Raphael play like a married couple" - **Jon Gabrus** [0:15:39]: "we shot the pilot a couple years ago. We're doing 6 episodes for Amazon." - **Jon Gabrus** [0:15:55]: "with a live studio audience and improvised, not fully scripted." - **Sean Hayes** [0:18:02]: "if you remember, the scripts used to be called teleplays, it wouldn't be called scripts." - **Sean Hayes** [0:23:48]: "I'm on a statin, which I really wish I wasn't, but I" - **Sean Hayes** [0:24:40]: "I'm not on those, but I was pre pre-diabetes." - **Jon Gabrus** [0:26:35]: "after being on Zet bound for a couple of months, I now will eat a meal and go like, I can't believe that was enough food." - **Sean Hayes** [0:26:52]: "We we don't need to eat 3 meals a day because we're not growing anymore." - **Jon Gabrus** [0:28:33]: "Loser, loser of the game had to get a fucked up haircut." - **Sean Hayes** [0:28:42]: "we had Hot in Cleveland, we had Grimm, we had, uh, History of Comedy on CNN" - **Adam Pally** [0:29:22]: "I got another, like, six, seven weeks on the Beatles, and that's, uh," - **Sean Hayes** [0:31:27]: "a one-man show called The Unknown, where I played ten different characters." - **Sean Hayes** [0:31:27]: "it's an hour and ten minutes monologue, and so you just start memorizing it." - **Sean Hayes** [0:34:18]: "The eight shows a week, like, who started that? Well, obviously, producers did, to make money, because the more shows you do, the more money." - **Adam Pally** [0:39:13]: "we were on a single cam, but when Happy Endings was over, we had a standing table at the Sunset Marquee" ## Transcript **[0:00:00] Speaker 4:** Smart, blessed. **[0:00:09] Adam Pally:** How what are you doing? How are you staying alive? What a **[0:00:12] Sean Hayes:** Uh, that's a good question, you know, you think I would've prepared for this, but, um, It is the uh, only question. So no, no, the, um, how am I staying alive? It's a well, I'm gonna tell you right now. I got my blood work done, I don't know, like, a month ago, and it was really bad. It was like I had creme brulee for blood, like I had it was just sugar and fat all the way. **[0:00:36] Sean Hayes:** but your diet Through is infamously you. You, insane **[0:00:39] Adam Pally:** you eat what you want, you eat what you want all the time for, all the time, **[0:00:43] Sean Hayes:** like, my for my seventy nothing. s, all seventy-six years. I've been eating what I want. **[0:00:57] Adam Pally:** Hey, smart list listeners, this is, uh, Adam Pally. and Jon Gabrus s Oh, we're all up in your feet. **[0:01:04] Jon Gabrus:** Ah, that's right. We're the hosts of the Staying Alive podcast, and we're so pumped to give you guys our Sean Hayes episode. We hear as subscribers of Smartless, you might be a fan of the man. **[0:01:14] Adam Pally:** When, if you're a fan of this episode, um, and you liked us, come check out our podcast called Staying Alive. We have a ton of episodes right now, including, **[0:01:24] Jon Gabrus:** We just had Heather McMahon uh, Heather McMahon on last week. **[0:01:26] Adam Pally:** on last week, Ron Funches on next week. We've had Will Arnett in the past. It's a show about fitness hosted by 2 guys who are not fit. **[0:01:35] Jon Gabrus:** yeah, it's a health and wellness podcast hosted by physically unhealthy and mentally unwell guys. **[0:01:39] Adam Pally:** That's a great is that was that what that cue card says? **[0:01:42] Jon Gabrus:** Yeah, I don't know. Devin's been waving in our face this whole That's why I time. **[0:01:46] Adam Pally:** can't read it. Devin, put it down. **[0:01:47] Jon Gabrus:** We love our bosses. **[0:01:49] Adam Pally:** Yeah, we love our horrible bosses. **[0:01:51] Jon Gabrus:** Ah, all right, Sean Hayes **[0:01:56] Adam Pally:** Sean Hayes. baby. Isn't it crazy that we've union-busted television so much that, like, theoretically, this what we're doing now, we could sell to Netflix? **[0:02:09] Sean Hayes:** I mean, it's CR- and probably will. I brought I well, yeah, it. Yeah, I mean, **[0:02:12] Adam Pally:** it's like, wild, like, there's no production. The bu- the production value I have is that I clicked, like, Blurry on my background. yeah. Mine **[0:02:20] Jon Gabrus:** is that I moved a pile of Crocs and Sperrys out of the fucking frame, so I I looked like I cleaned up here. **[0:02:26] Sean Hayes:** oh my god, I got a story about Croc. Should we start with that or no? **[0:02:29] Jon Gabrus:** Let it rip. please, I want Sure, hey, that rich **[0:02:31] Sean Hayes:** the so I was doing money. this, I was do hi guys, so good to see you, by the way. Good It's good to see you. to see you I was doing this show, again. um, promises, promises on Broadway, years and years and years ago, and this this very, um, conservative looking family, uh, was there with their kids, and one of the the the girl was, like, in a dress, and the guy and the little boy. L- she was, like, 10, and he was, like, 9, and he had Crocs on his shoes, right on his feet, he was wearing Crocs as part of his like suit. **[0:03:00] Sean Hayes:** It was, like, really cool. And, uh, but I was in, like, joke mode after the show. So, you know, when you're just like, you're in the zone, you can't stop, cause I had just performed, Say so the adrenaline's still going. I got off stage, and the whole fam- their whole family's there. I don't remember who it was. And, uh, and I was like, Hey, how was that? Uh, h- how what's your name, little girl? And she's like, Sue. **[0:03:19] Sean Hayes:** I'm like, what a tsunami of a performance. Like, just bad jokes like, but you can't stop your brain. And the kid goes, uh, the kid goes, Um, he takes the shoe off, and he said, Will you sign my Croc? I go, Thank God there's an R in that. Okay, let's and the and the and the parents were like, G- grabbed their kids, like, I think we're I think we're okay, I think we're good. And then and woah, and Scotty, my husband grabbed my arm. **[0:03:42] Sean Hayes:** He's like, they it's so nice to meet you, and he just pulled me. Exactly. **[0:03:56] Adam Pally:** Sean, this is awesome to improvise with you. You are Oh, come one of the funniest on. Likewise, people ever, you guys, hero of ours, come on, we got a fucking hero of ours. **[0:04:03] Jon Gabrus:** we got one of our bosses on the line here, dude. I This is not know, and right? No, I get a it's so cool the answer. you. **[0:04:07] Adam Pally:** to have, like, hero bosses, too. It's like, **[0:04:10] Sean Hayes:** Thanks, man. **[0:04:10] Adam Pally:** you know, it's like, W- how do you look so good at Oh god, 74? **[0:04:14] Jon Gabrus:** yeah, since you were on TV when I was Cause you, you're young, how are you look the way you look **[0:04:19] Adam Pally:** Yeah, and I know the **[0:04:19] Jon Gabrus:** now? **[0:04:19] Adam Pally:** 3 of you, cause Jason's Jason's the oldest, right? He's like, just hit 80, that's correct. Yep, and and then then 76, you're 74, seventy, yeah, and then Will, s shockingly, is 65, right? He's the youngest, **[0:04:30] Jon Gabrus:** But he's got his muscles, right? He's got that right? **[0:04:31] Adam Pally:** of work, he's an of yeah, well, he smokes, work. **[0:04:33] Sean Hayes:** so it keeps him young. **[0:04:33] Adam Pally:** Then he smokes. Yeah, yeah, nicotine is now coming back around. **[0:04:37] Sean Hayes:** yeah, yeah, you know, you thought, Uh, how Yeah, you thought, **[0:04:38] Adam Pally:** what are you doing? How are you staying alive? What a **[0:04:40] Sean Hayes:** uh, that's a good question, you know, you think I would've prepared for this, but, um, It is the uh, only question. So no, no, the, um, how am I staying alive? It's a well, I'm gonna tell you right now. I got my blood work done, I don't know, like, a month ago. Well, first of all, I got **[0:05:00] Adam Pally:** oh gosh. **[0:05:00] Sean Hayes:** it done, like fi 4 or 5 months ago, and it was really bad. It was like I had creme brulee for blood, like I had it was just sugar and fat all the way But your through. **[0:05:08] Adam Pally:** diet is infamously you. You, Insane you eat what you want, you eat what you want all the time for, all the time, **[0:05:14] Sean Hayes:** like, my for my seventy nothing. s, all seventy-six years. I've been eating what I want. **[0:05:17] Adam Pally:** No, no, Barry White added to, uh, **[0:05:20] Sean Hayes:** Yeah, and so and so, what I did was when I got those numbers back, it was, like, such a shocker because they were bad. Like the coll- like, I've always had super high triglycerides, like, really bad, and then the cholesterol and whatever. But I would so this is kinda what hit me. So, you know, the Häagen-Dazs ice cream, like, you know, like, the little tiny pints, which my it's my favorite ice cream. Häagen-Dazs. I think it's probably the best out there. **[0:05:44] Jon Gabrus:** eh, I'm a huge fan. And I think Hot milk cookies mass produ- and cream. **[0:05:47] Adam Pally:** production mass production wise, if you're not in a small town and there's not, like, a, you know, a mom and a l- a a pop, mom and pop place, I think Häagen-Dazs is the is, like, way better than Ben and Jerry's. No, no shame. **[0:05:56] Sean Hayes:** well, well, look, but by the way, you look at the back of Häagen-Dazs. I'm no joke, the vanilla, that's it. It's eggs, milk, sugar, and something else, and lard. No, I don't know what it is. No, it's All all lard. **[0:06:07] Adam Pally:** 4 of my blood types. **[0:06:08] Sean Hayes:** Yeah, quick, does anybody have lard? Nice blood? We got We're gonna Pal a safety had a heart attack pin. again. a a lard blood transfusion? Uh, but anyways, so, um, but yeah, so I look at the back of it. By the way, I've been eating those things like, Hey, I was good today, I can just have a whole. It's like this big. But finally, for the first time in my life, I looked at the sugar content, and I was like, Oh, wow, it says, like, half of a cup has, like, twenty-five grams of sugar, and there's, like, I don't know how many cups in there, so it's probably, like, eighty to a hundred grams of sugar, which is insane in **[0:06:44] Sean Hayes:** 1 sitting. So I'd be eating that 3 times a week for the last 50 years, At night, like, all the any time, like, would that it doesn't matter. **[0:06:52] Adam Pally:** mess up your sleep? **[0:06:53] Sean Hayes:** Hey, can we do a side zoom about Yeah, well, that? **[0:06:58] Adam Pally:** cause my sleep is horrible. I I, I **[0:06:59] Sean Hayes:** It's horrible. I get up at 3:00 every morning. oh, 3:00 would be Yeah, **[0:07:03] Adam Pally:** a dream. yeah, and If I could make it then really, 3, I mean, **[0:07:05] Sean Hayes:** what time do you go to bed? **[0:07:06] Adam Pally:** sometimes I I don't know if I've ever slept. I You're like like, **[0:07:09] Jon Gabrus:** the only stoner I know, Pally, that doesn't sleep. I I'm a scoff fucking, I know **[0:07:13] Sean Hayes:** and I think that's what it is. Do you take gummies or smoke it? **[0:07:17] Adam Pally:** Oh, I d I mean, at this point, at this Or you s or point, **[0:07:20] Sean Hayes:** you snort it. **[0:07:21] Adam Pally:** I have it. I have it piped into my I get my CBD nostrils. **[0:07:26] Jon Gabrus:** IV every night. Yeah, well, No, I'm **[0:07:27] Adam Pally:** the actually the air conditioning guy just came and changed our M weed filter, so I. we're we're good. **[0:07:33] Jon Gabrus:** I sleep like a fucking rock. When you you guys are waking you do, up, yeah, I know, I think I know. Adam it's my drinking, said, Yeah, well, drinking is the is the undoing cause I I of. well, drinking, still like whiskey **[0:07:41] Sean Hayes:** but yeah, but if yeah, but if you drink, you know, and you get all the buzz and then you go to sleep, you'll never sleep because of the sugar and the alcohol keep you up. Right, you know? **[0:07:48] Adam Pally:** and that, e- exactly. So I'm wondering if, the if the the sugar. And ice cream, cause that's the yeah, so much sugar, **[0:07:53] Sean Hayes:** of course, I don't know, I s, but I've. I've had sleep problems my whole life. But wait, let's get back to sleep. I wanna finish the thing. So then I got the thing, finish the I so I got thought. the ice cream, I would eat that, and then I fig- you know? And then the doctor's like, This is out of control, like, you know, your blood is c- like your cholesterol, everything's horrible. I started forming soft plaque and all this stuff, so that's what's keeping me alive. **[0:08:13] Sean Hayes:** Is, I completely. I didn't cut out sugar, but I've never, ever learned balance in my entire life. So now it's just like, if I so, so, 2 days ago, 3 days ago, for dinner, I had, uh, spaghetti, meatballs and a milkshake. Okay, then the next day, I can't do any of that. So I'll have, like, turkey on Ezekiel bread and fruit, like, just really boring shit. You're And so, **[0:08:35] Jon Gabrus:** you're, you're preaching to the your direct choir here, cause w- all we talk about is trying to learn balance, because we're not gonna stop drinking a bottle of Japanese whiskey together. alright, So we have to, on the, uh, days when we don't do that, just swing the pendulum the other way. Yeah, well, Yeah, **[0:08:49] Adam Pally:** uh, but it does lead me to a question, Sean, if you don't mind Yeah, quickly, about quickly. oh oh, um, to be fair, do you? uh, **[0:08:57] Jon Gabrus:** if you're only listening to the pod, Sean is on the red carpet. We stopped him. We're gonna and Sean do a full **[0:09:01] Adam Pally:** is bad at eating. podcast on the **[0:09:03] Jon Gabrus:** red carpet. **[0:09:04] Sean Hayes:** my costume in Ha- has the wall of my home. And this is that's very **[0:09:08] Jon Gabrus:** He's got a sniff and repeat Bjork. with his own info on it. **[0:09:11] Adam Pally:** Very Bjork. Sia. I would love that. Uh, no, Sean was I w- I was good. gonna say, like, w- as a kid, like, you know, we're part of we. We talk a lot about being like clean plate kids, where, like, you know, when you, when you well, I want grow up in a house that doesn't have a ton of money and your parents are cooking, there's this sort of like mental thing where it's like the plate needs to be clean, you know, from for the kids in Africa **[0:09:36] Sean Hayes:** that's right. to like that you're That's how he grew. wasting my money, I just brought **[0:09:38] Adam Pally:** you know? **[0:09:38] Sean Hayes:** this up the other day, and so your brain goes, Right, we I know where you're going. Your brain goes, Well, I have to fit, I have to eat it, and then you become you to get these habits of finishing that. And I think I just equated it the other day to working out, which is like, cause I I have a trainer, otherwise, I wouldn't go, and so I go, uh, uh, it's my incentive to go. If I'm paying somebody, I'm like, Fuck, I'm paying somebody. **[0:09:57] Sean Hayes:** I have to go. Yeah, sunk So so I go costs. there and I'm like, Dude, we don't have to work out for an hour, it's the clean plate thing. It's like, just because everyone's like, an hour, it's like, no, I work out till I'm get sweaty and I'm tired and it hurts, which is like, fifteen minutes. No, which is like, No, which is like I play a thirty five, **[0:10:16] Jon Gabrus:** for the hour, I work out for 18 minutes, and then I then I lay around and complain for the rest of the hour. **[0:10:22] Sean Hayes:** right, uh, but but no, it's do you think like thirty-five, Jason's cutting me off forty **[0:10:25] Adam Pally:** too much? **[0:10:28] Sean Hayes:** Yeah, exactly. Thirty-five, forty minutes, I'm out. And right in the middle of, like, uh, like a rep, I go, I'm out, and I walk out of the gym. And so, but it's the same concept as the clean plate thing. It's like all these ideas that we grew up with that are embedded, like, you have to work out an hour, you have to clean your plate, you have to do, I don't know what the fuck else, but um, is is is different now, like, but but right? **[0:10:50] Sean Hayes:** it's interesting The clean And remember the plate, cause, like, mem- remember the pyramid of the food groups? It's like, No, you should eat 8 pounds of bread a day or yeah. It's like whatever it is. **[0:10:55] Jon Gabrus:** you should have twel- twelve bowls of pasta a day, two pieces of fruit. yeah, and venison, Yeah, yeah, **[0:11:00] Adam Pally:** like, there was always a picture of, like, raw mutton, yeah, have a you know? And it's like, **[0:11:04] Jon Gabrus:** have a big old mutton chop like you're a video game character picking it up and chomping it. **[0:11:09] Adam Pally:** I know, but I was I was. I was wondering about this idea. Because for someone who who works so hard and is in so, in so many different facets, like including being being on Broadway, which is like, Wha- insane. you, you, i is the most. I mean, I I tell you all the time when I was, when I did it, I've never drank more or eaten worse in my entire life. yeah, because because because You're just **[0:11:31] Sean Hayes:** you're exhausted. **[0:11:31] Adam Pally:** finishing, you're yeah, you're just finishing, you're like, Rah, and and and the only thing that you can like, cause you haven't eaten before the show, and then you're starving, and you're like, the only thing that can, like, quiet you down is a bottle of red wine and pasta. Right? There Is, like, **[0:11:44] Sean Hayes:** are no other options. **[0:11:45] Adam Pally:** there's no other way to be a Broadway, and like, and **[0:11:48] Sean Hayes:** They don't let you back so, on the stage unless you do. **[0:11:50] Adam Pally:** yeah, no, truly, they would they check your they. They **[0:11:53] Sean Hayes:** Check your log. **[0:11:53] Adam Pally:** used to get the receipt f- from If you last night. **[0:11:55] Jon Gabrus:** don't if you don't have an 11:00 PM reservation that has 2,600 calories like loaded to go, **[0:12:00] Sean Hayes:** but it's tr- but it's true because you I don't know what what you were doing, but like, was it a big part or a big show? **[0:12:05] Adam Pally:** Oh, it was a two-hander, Uh, yeah, well, so it was like, **[0:12:07] Sean Hayes:** say no more. Yeah, it was a Yeah, **[0:12:09] Adam Pally:** six-month two-hander. **[0:12:10] Sean Hayes:** oh God, six months, eight shows a week, **[0:12:12] Adam Pally:** Uh, eight shows a week and you're drenched for about **[0:12:14] Sean Hayes:** in sweat after you get off. doing everything you're, A Yeah, **[0:12:16] Adam Pally:** and it's like, you're, you're. It's the whole. It's one of those whole gamut plays where you're, **[0:12:19] Sean Hayes:** let me tell you something, like, naked, and, totally. Yeah, I read **[0:12:22] Adam Pally:** oh, it's exhausting. **[0:12:22] Sean Hayes:** part. I'm still, I'm still waiting to hear. I read It's okay, part, uh, **[0:12:25] Adam Pally:** I, I, they've recast me but s uh, for a six-month run. **[0:12:29] Sean Hayes:** so, but but to that point is like, I w- when you're doing that many shows, you're and you're drenched in sweat and you don't know, you're just gonna refill your body any way you can. **[0:12:39] Adam Pally:** Yeah, and you're like, and there's something about the like social aspect of like, you're, It's cause, like we were saying poor before, you're, you're like, you're, yeah, you're like, you're all revved up, and it's like a victory every night. that's right, And so there's this mental need to pop a bottle of champagne. It's like, I survived, I did it, I didn't go up on a line. It's like, **[0:12:54] Sean Hayes:** Like, I Yeah, this is but but my, this is my that can't be, yeah, treat. No, no, that that can't be happened. You have to healthy. You re you know, **[0:12:59] Adam Pally:** can't do that. **[0:12:59] Sean Hayes:** but I was gonna equate it to sports because that's what I was gonna say is, um, when I'm, like, watching whatever, like, there's a football game on and or somebody's getting. I wa- I just watched Rocky, that movie Rocky again, that you know, and **[0:13:10] Jon Gabrus:** movie Rocky. yeah, yeah, I I think I know which one you're talking familiar, familiar, about. **[0:13:14] Adam Pally:** Sean, familiar. **[0:13:17] Jon Gabrus:** Have you seen this film, Rocky? **[0:13:18] Sean Hayes:** someone said there's a two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight, but I don't know if that's true. But anyway, so and and they're like, and or whatever, or I'm watching a football game and whatever. The the guys like the the the PT guys, the physical therapist guys, right? And they're doing the back, and the thing. And and when you do a play on Broadwa- I'm always like, Yeah, they're everybody's an athlete because you're doing the same movements over and over, and your body and your muscles get really so, yeah, you're just looking to refuel. **[0:13:45] Sean Hayes:** I I just wanna equate Broadway to sports. Well, no, People, people **[0:13:48] Jon Gabrus:** I like it. think that's ridiculous, Thank you. I I but it's like I hope, you know, I'm gonna have to give you a wedgie now. another one I'm sorry, **[0:13:54] Sean Hayes:** was just fair. **[0:13:54] Jon Gabrus:** Peter. No, I mean, more than the one you more than the one you showed up with. **[0:14:06] Adam Pally:** well, Gaveros is starting a multicam in like 2 **[0:14:10] Sean Hayes:** Are you really? weeks, and you're, you're, you're a No way. **[0:14:12] Adam Pally:** multicam king. And so when you say to to me, like, Broadway is, Broadway is like sports, multicam to me is like, um, uh, hitting slots. **[0:14:23] Jon Gabrus:** yeah, I know. Well, yeah, well, It it's **[0:14:26] Sean Hayes:** I hope for I hope for Gaver's w- it is. yes, bigger **[0:14:28] Adam Pally:** Yeah, well, I mean, any **[0:14:29] Jon Gabrus:** spots for Fox. t I mean, any Yeah, **[0:14:30] Adam Pally:** time I did, I did a multicam for for 1 season, and it w- felt like hitting a slot. Because you're like, Oh, this is **[0:14:36] Sean Hayes:** It's a great job. **[0:14:36] Adam Pally:** a job. The hours are I clock amazing. Yeah, in, I clock out, and I'm still doing funny things, it's like, it's the best. **[0:14:43] Sean Hayes:** I, I, I would. So we had the great James Burrows, direct Will and Grace, right? May he He directed every **[0:14:47] Adam Pally:** rest in peace. **[0:14:47] Sean Hayes:** episode of Cheers and every episode of Will and Grace and Friends and Two and a Half Men and everything else. And, um, and he we would get to work at 10, and we'd be done at two, four, four hours a day. That's it. And so one of the writers, cause he works so fucking fast. And then when I hosted Saturday Night Live, they're like, Is this going too fast? I'm like, Are you kidding? Like, I was, I've been spoiled. **[0:15:07] Sean Hayes:** Like, I this pace is incredible to me. And so so the because i it's all about the writing, if it's not in the writing, what are we rehearsing? f- what are we over rehearsing for? You know what I mean? And so I'm excited. What is it, Gaver? That you're doing? **[0:15:20] Jon Gabrus:** it's called Dinks. **[0:15:21] Adam Pally:** it's awesome, Sean. It's with, uh, Marta It's awes- Kaufman, and it's a, Oh, by God, uh, yeah, yeah, pretty **[0:15:26] Sean Hayes:** brilliant. She's great. excited. Um, and it's What's it called? **[0:15:28] Jon Gabrus:** like it's called Dinks. Double income, no kids. Uh, Paul Scheer and June Diane Raphael play like a married couple Amazing, that are rebuilding a house, and I play like their weird nephew who moves in. uh, that's And sort of, **[0:15:38] Sean Hayes:** great. Is it a pilot, a series, pickup, **[0:15:39] Jon Gabrus:** it's a series. or Uh, yeah, we shot the pilot a couple years ago. We're doing 6 episodes for Amazon. **[0:15:43] Sean Hayes:** amazing for Amazon? Yeah, it's, This is exciting, **[0:15:45] Jon Gabrus:** yeah, it's very exciting. It's probably my f- you know, t twenty years in the biz, my first series regular I'm **[0:15:50] Sean Hayes:** really? **[0:15:50] Jon Gabrus:** a I'm a pump for it. Yeah, **[0:15:51] Sean Hayes:** Congrats, man. This is so exciting. Is it, um, and it's with an audience and everything? **[0:15:55] Jon Gabrus:** with a live studio audience and improvised, not fully scripted. **[0:15:59] Sean Hayes:** no way. yeah, which sounds Oh, this is brilliant. amazing. Yeah, **[0:16:02] Jon Gabrus:** yes, it's gonna be. It that's should be pretty fucking exciting. Yeah, **[0:16:06] Sean Hayes:** That's amazing. **[0:16:07] Adam Pally:** th- that's the way that **[0:16:07] Sean Hayes:** And what? And then what do they just works. cut around the the improv yes, I guess that doesn't they trim it up work? **[0:16:10] Jon Gabrus:** there, yeah. Or, like, w- uh, in the pilot, we, like, redid a scene here and there of, like, Oh, let's tighten this up, let's lose that chunk, and let's just get through it. Cause, like, you can cut together between takes, uh, Well, and they have you **[0:16:21] Sean Hayes:** you is brilliant and improvising anyway. Is everybody really yeah. Paul Scheer great at it? **[0:16:24] Jon Gabrus:** is Paul Scheer was my **[0:16:25] Sean Hayes:** Yeah, are you? **[0:16:25] Jon Gabrus:** level two teacher in 2004. Um, yeah, way. and, uh, June is, uh, Amen. fantastic. And then I'm s I'm assuming our guest stars will be, uh, people of a similar caliber. **[0:16:35] Sean Hayes:** that's really exciting. **[0:16:36] Jon Gabrus:** Uh, yeah, equating sports to, uh, uh, performing. I wanna get back into that for a second, cause w- like, w- we treat ourselves like ultramarathoners, you know, like, you're like refueling in between scenes and stuff, and it's like, w- it does feel like that emotionally. But then at the end of the day, you're like, I did have 4 Buffalo chicken wraps and maybe burned 80 calories performing. But, like, in your head, you're like, I need this emotionally. **[0:16:59] Jon Gabrus:** And you do feel like each after each stop down, you're like, I earned it. Let me refuel, like squeezing the gel into your y- yeah, mouth, like you're a like, you're doing It's a craft an ultramarathon. Dan, this is service. **[0:17:07] Adam Pally:** Danger, danger. Do you go over there, Sean? You do you do you, uh, go over there trolling for truffles? **[0:17:13] Sean Hayes:** Yeah, yeah, still. No, we. We had our craft service lady, which she would make, um, she was from the south, so she'd just make, uh, you know, brisket and fucking, you know, hamburgers and, like, cake and, like, mac and cheese. It was crazy. Her name was Sandy. Sh- Sandy My last show Flowers. **[0:17:30] Adam Pally:** shot in Chicago, and it was like you would liter- literally, like, you'd walk in and they'd be like, You look you look a little peaked. What do you say? What do you say? We do a pierogi bar at lunch, huh? **[0:17:42] Sean Hayes:** that's a good accent. **[0:17:43] Adam Pally:** And you'd be like, a pierogi bar at lunch? Like, or or pre-lunch, I don't care, just to get you some sustenance. You're like, pierogies. I gained, like, thirty pounds in that shoot. Like, I look back on that, and there's a scene where I'm, like, running in my underwear in a car, and I was like, Oh God, I hit that pierogi but yeah, bar. **[0:18:02] Sean Hayes:** but but I think for your sitcom, it's gonna, you know, I'm very passionate about what makes certain ones work and what makes other ones don't. And I think, if if you remember, the scripts used to be called teleplays, it wouldn't be called scripts. Did you get the teleplay for whatever? I mean? And so that's because they were plays, and so you were, it's almost like the audience at home, like I Love Lucy or Will and Grace or Cheers. **[0:18:27] Sean Hayes:** If you watch Cheers, I still watch Cheers all the time. the best It's like you're watching a play. **[0:18:31] Adam Pally:** best pilot ever. **[0:18:32] Sean Hayes:** And so the actors are incredible, like your cast, you just said sounds incredible. They're all acting f- w- in the scene, they're not performing for the audience, and that because that's what you do in a play, you're in the scene with you get that voyeurism, somebody, looking in their too. eyes, and and it doesn't matter who's watching, it doesn't matter if the entire audience is watching or nobody's watching, you're in the scene with somebody and that draws us in. **[0:18:58] Sean Hayes:** And so many sitcoms, because they're overly lit and overly edited and overly the sound like the sound is in your face. Back then, you could hear the crew walking around, and you could feel the audience through the sound of everybody watching this play. And I think that's what's missing. I feel real passionate about it, and, um, hopefully, yeah, **[0:19:16] Jon Gabrus:** Uh, that sounds you just reminded me of something. When I saw August: Osage County amazing, on Broadway, so same, one of the best, uh, plays I've ever seen. amazing, Tracy, See that's my that dinner sequence Tracy that's my Letts. **[0:19:25] Adam Pally:** my boy. **[0:19:25] Sean Hayes:** Amazing, that's the dinner sequence, where yeah, **[0:19:27] Jon Gabrus:** four people are facing directly away from the yes, that's audience. And you're like, that's a weird, uh, setting. And then all of a sudden, it feels like what you're talking about, that you are watching a **[0:19:37] Sean Hayes:** watching a family. **[0:19:37] Jon Gabrus:** dinner for real. You're like looking through a window at them. And that's it was like it blew my mind open for, like, this exact thing you're talking about. It was like, I just could not believe. I'm like, that's crazy. From improv, you know, we are you're like, sit open to the crowd so everyone knows what you're doing, and then you watch this. And I'm like, Oh man, I feel like I'm s like But when you said standing in the kitchen Im watching them cook. **[0:19:55] Sean Hayes:** totally, but when you said improvise, I I've never seen that before, and I think that'll help a lot. You can Make Yeah, if you don't it feel make it a wheel real. have like larks and way to do to hit and **[0:20:03] Jon Gabrus:** shit like that, it should feel a little crazy. Yeah, I'm, Well, because I'm upset. **[0:20:06] Adam Pally:** I, I, I, and I didn't. I only did, like, thirteen episodes, but in my in my brief experience of it, the part that is the hardest to keep fresh is when something doesn't work. And you you go back to the and you're trying, internet and the writers come out and they're like, let's do this and that. And it's like, it's not anyone's fault, the audience has seen it, they've seen, you know what, I mean, So they're they know **[0:20:29] Sean Hayes:** not, you can't milk them. Yeah, **[0:20:30] Adam Pally:** you. C- like, they know I'm gonna bounce through that door, so it's like, it's not as now we're hoping that the surprised, n next line is funny. It's like, it's hard to kinda get that energy, but I feel like to mix the the energy of no script in that will kinda cure that in a way that it it almost feels like Saturday Night Live, like you were saying, yeah, for where, like, it could, fuck It was, you could fuck up. **[0:20:54] Jon Gabrus:** was pretty crazy shooting the pilot. I know the audience is trained for this. I've been watching TV my whole life, but I open the door and get, like, the huge applause. They don't know who I am. It's not like, Oh, fuck, the nephew's here. Like, they're just like, No, they're supposed to do it. And I've never felt so, like, electrified in my entire life. I was like, I'll fucking kill anybody. But I'm like, indestructible. I've never felt that. **[0:21:17] Jon Gabrus:** I got, like, the Kramer reaction, and I'm like, undeserved yeah. And full-coached, but then you're, I was like, Ah, **[0:21:22] Sean Hayes:** yeah. And then when you're done taping, you're on such a high that night. I I would drive for hours listening to music, cause I was so amped up, it was like a rock concert, every single show, it was crazy. **[0:21:32] Adam Pally:** And especially you guys were like yeah, you guys you guys were were like like touching the big fucking the moon, you know what I deal. Yeah, mean, like, **[0:21:37] Sean Hayes:** It's crazy. **[0:21:37] Adam Pally:** where people were waiting. I mean, I remember as a kid waiting for the next Will and Grace, Thanks. you know, cause you're like, you there were no And then it never re like, you're like, came. are we are we off? are we? uh, you know what I mean? At one point, it started to stop coming, but they well, that was all **[0:21:51] Jon Gabrus:** back in the day when you didn't know the programming schedules, and it wasn't easy to find out without a TV guide. So you'd kinda just be, like, sitting there. I'd be like, I think it's Thursdays at eight thirty or nine like, you just had to **[0:22:01] Adam Pally:** were you running? **[0:22:01] Jon Gabrus:** be planted in front of the TV and be like, Have we seen this one? I don't know. Is this a new one? Is this a rerun? And you're just excited to be there. And then they remember, Yeah, **[0:22:09] Sean Hayes:** I don't know if you guys are too young, but remember, they super sized the episodes, like they'd be like **[0:22:12] Jon Gabrus:** I remember those. **[0:22:13] Sean Hayes:** 5 minutes longer and just so they could make more ad dollars. But I was too I will super young to know that. Bowl, Yeah, yeah, totally. **[0:22:19] Adam Pally:** oh, Super Bowl. **[0:22:19] Sean Hayes:** Oh, Super Bowl is the spot. super But **[0:22:21] Jon Gabrus:** extended episode of your favorite show, and it's just 4 extra minutes of the characters talking in the living room. Set. You're like, I know, Oh, okay, I know **[0:22:29] Adam Pally:** I kind of wish I would do the other way. I wish I didn't do single cam first, cause I feel like single cam. Like, by the time I got to multicam, I was like, when, when it, it's the way that, like, uh, you know, you I. I was like, when are we taking a break? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Like, I felt like I would've liked to switch it. **[0:22:45] Sean Hayes:** well, the hours on on a single camera are extraordinarily longer. Yeah, but anyway, back to the show, staying alive. So the, uh, thank you with sorry, sorry about that. no, please Um, yeah, do. No, we're yeah, no, Usually not gonna **[0:22:58] Adam Pally:** do that in an edit, but great job. **[0:23:02] Sean Hayes:** but, um, yeah, so I so my blood was so bad. All the shit I was eating, it, finally caught up to me just this year. And so I started to balance by eating a little better, but I'm on these are the things I'm on. Metformin, which I hear, is great. Really, They my, my, uh, what's that? the metformin no, not the George girl? Foreman. You're thinking No, not the of, oh, sorry, original, sorry. Yeah, it's called sorry, metformin. **[0:23:21] Jon Gabrus:** your doctor, in 2026, is like, I'm gonna need you to start using the George Foreman the metal grill. one grill. Yeah, and You're like, I think start, I need to find another doctor. This guy got the shirt sold. Well, exactly. I'm just **[0:23:34] Sean Hayes:** standing up there, grilling, like I'm looking I'm **[0:23:36] Adam Pally:** at your numbers. I'm looking at your numbers. Someone is clearly not tilting. **[0:23:40] Sean Hayes:** grill it. You gotta tilt Yeah, you **[0:23:41] Adam Pally:** it, pal. **[0:23:42] Jon Gabrus:** gotta grill on an angle, pal. Yeah, that's hysterical. And, It's not a methform- uh, so metformin. **[0:23:48] Sean Hayes:** metformin, one of my my thyroid stuff, which I've been on for years, cause I have a little, just a little low. And then, um, well, oh, I'm on a statin, which I really wish I wasn't, but I Staten have to. **[0:23:59] Jon Gabrus:** boys, right? Staten boys. like You're on Staten the high, Island with us right now, yeah, statin baby. Yeah, **[0:24:02] Sean Hayes:** eyes, totally. **[0:24:02] Adam Pally:** welcome to Stat. Welcome to Pete Davidson. An island baby. I'm on He bought a boat. Lipitor. **[0:24:08] Sean Hayes:** You should do. You do have the receipt? You No, just and, uh, **[0:24:12] Adam Pally:** like s Pete and Colin, we don, were stuck with our **[0:24:14] Sean Hayes:** that helps. laptop. Yeah, exactly. Um, so so I'm so those things are, and they've helped. But by the way, exercise, I fucking hate it, but I force myself to go because you have to. And now I'm now. I've lost a lot of weight because I've cut back sugar a lot, and I've cut out a lot of white, right? Flour and rice and whatever. And so I'll eat, like Ezekiel bread, which is really low, uh, uh, what is it called? **[0:24:40] Sean Hayes:** Oh, yeah, now it's insulin resistant, insulin resistant, Oh, so, GLP- so I was like, No, ones, I'm not on those, but I was pre pre-diabetes. **[0:24:48] Jon Gabrus:** And that's what metformin will help with, that, it s it regulates right? That sugar in your blood, yeah, **[0:24:51] Adam Pally:** so it's like the beginning. **[0:24:52] Sean Hayes:** right, in your cells. **[0:24:52] Adam Pally:** Yeah, cause we both, we both are on GLP-1s. Oh, you are, Yeah, and yes, and and you've I **[0:24:56] Sean Hayes:** noticed a difference, obviously. **[0:24:58] Adam Pally:** I have not noticed a huge difference because I'm, uh, **[0:25:02] Sean Hayes:** What if you just started throwing up? **[0:25:04] Adam Pally:** I have not noticed a huge difference you're you in **[0:25:06] Jon Gabrus:** are recording from a toilet, **[0:25:07] Adam Pally:** in my look. though. I haven't. I haven't noticed a difference in my look. I've noticed a difference in the way I feel. No, no, no, I am. No, it. I. I m. My father is a is a physician, and he he, uh, has I remember that, been prescribing it to a lot of his patients over forty-five. Because uh, what? Which it's, one? A GIMPy uh, all **[0:25:26] Sean Hayes:** one? of them, just Yeah, yeah, **[0:25:27] Adam Pally:** based on your blood work, uh, which one whichever one fits you. Because he believes that it does prevent, like, stroke and heart attack and even some cancers. And he's like, his big crusade is that, like, if it wasn't I hate using this word, but Kardashified early on, peop- a lot of people would still be alive. **[0:25:50] Jon Gabrus:** If it wasn't Hollywood, Hollywood fide and like all about, like, shallow, looking people. Cause I'll describe it as this, like we talked about Clean Plate Club. I grew up, every girlfriend's parents loved me because I ate all the food and I got, like, rewarded. You know, when I was married, my in-laws would be like, This boy can eat. We love you, thank you so much for loving our, and I'm like, people like me cause I eat their food. **[0:26:11] Jon Gabrus:** Ha ha ha. And then I just, and I never ex- I guess it wasn't until I started Zet bound that I experienced what being satiated or full was like. Promo I only had, like, code promo two things, **[0:26:23] Sean Hayes:** code promo code. yeah, where I was So right, hungry We'll promo code or sick for that's as a fucking your job, Sean. You dog. **[0:26:27] Adam Pally:** know what, Sean, that's your job. **[0:26:29] Jon Gabrus:** Get us some ads here, brother. **[0:26:31] Adam Pally:** You got us the codes, we'll promo em. **[0:26:35] Jon Gabrus:** But for real, after being on Zet bound for a couple of months, I now will eat a meal and go like, I can't believe that was enough food. Like, I don't need an appetizer and an entree. An that's, that's right, entree is enough, and it's that's right, like, it's really cha- I had never experienced this, like, it's right. And crazy, I'm **[0:26:52] Sean Hayes:** then I bet I don't wanna I'm not a doctor. I bet if you got off it, which, you know, you there's no need to. You would your brain is now changed to be like, I don't need and like, if there's like a burger and I'm starving, I will eat half and be like, I'm actually full. Like, there's no. And and by the way, this is the other thing people don't talk about. We we don't need to eat 3 meals a day because we're not growing anymore. **[0:27:15] Sean Hayes:** The reason why you need to eat 3 meals is cause you're constantly fucking growing, and you need fuel. Your bones are extent, everything's growing. And then once you reach your height and whatever, and your age, you're like, Well, I'm not growing anymore, so I don't need to eat 85,000 fucking pounds of food a day, **[0:27:30] Adam Pally:** yeah, man. That's why the Rock is constantly like eating a lake's worth of cod. Is cause, like, he's trying to grow, you know? If you're like, Which would you like okay, with how **[0:27:40] Sean Hayes:** a salmon sushi? you are, No, just yeah, and all the cod it's like, you have. No, I only Yeah, yeah, **[0:27:43] Adam Pally:** want God, the smaller, the bottom feeder. **[0:27:46] Jon Gabrus:** He just goes in like a fucking whale, like open mouth, bites into the ocean, and then strains the water out between his gums, like his baleen. **[0:27:52] Sean Hayes:** like Gollum. Yeah, fish heads. Oh It's like, Kevin my god, **[0:27:58] Adam Pally:** Hart, how did you get in there? **[0:28:00] Jon Gabrus:** I I would be mad if this didn't come up on this episode. Sh- uh, we'll get back to health in a second. Sean, you had a production, uh, have a production company, hat, hat, Hazy Mills, had, hat, yeah, um, and you produced a really strange game show that took place in a salon, that's right, that's and I hosted Hair Jacked for that's right, True TV for **[0:28:18] Sean Hayes:** that's right. **[0:28:19] Jon Gabrus:** one season. **[0:28:19] Sean Hayes:** Yeah. God, that was so long ago. **[0:28:21] Jon Gabrus:** That was so long ago, and now here we are working together I know I love yet again. **[0:28:25] Sean Hayes:** it. And by the way, you were fucking great. You Oh, thank were so **[0:28:28] Adam Pally:** All of it? you. great. It's It was cash hard **[0:28:30] Jon Gabrus:** cab in a hair salon, cash by the way. Still cab in a hair salon. **[0:28:32] Sean Hayes:** still a great idea. **[0:28:33] Jon Gabrus:** Still, I had a blast. Loser, loser of the game had to get a fucked up haircut. It was very **[0:28:38] Sean Hayes:** it was awesome. funny. **[0:28:39] Adam Pally:** Wait, but Sean, you had a couple hits with Hazy Mills, didn't you? **[0:28:42] Sean Hayes:** Yeah, we had Hot in Cleveland, we had Grimm, we had, uh, History of Comedy on CNN, we had **[0:28:48] Adam Pally:** Those are those are like, that's like 3 on the air, that's huge. **[0:28:51] Sean Hayes:** yeah, well, we had we had more, but I don't, um, That's that's but that's like my favorite, one of **[0:28:54] Jon Gabrus:** yeah, they don't have the name them. recognition of Hair Jacked. **[0:28:56] Sean Hayes:** yeah, hair jacked is good. By the way, that's still a really good idea. I I We should do I can't bring it. I'll bring it that back. I'm Thanks. back. **[0:29:04] Jon Gabrus:** I'm tech avail, bro. **[0:29:13] Sean Hayes:** What do you shoot? You shoot thirteen episodes, six episodes, Six episodes, and you start next week **[0:29:18] Jon Gabrus:** y- uh, you start in two weeks? Yeah, in two weeks? Wow, yeah, uh, **[0:29:21] Sean Hayes:** pal, what do you got going on? **[0:29:22] Adam Pally:** Awesome. I'm finishing. I got another, like, six, seven weeks on the Beatles, and that's, uh, **[0:29:31] Sean Hayes:** I'm an idiot. What what is that? **[0:29:33] Adam Pally:** it's a movie about the Beatles. it's Sam Uh, a love story Mendes, Sam Mendes making about the Beatles. fo- mo- four movies, **[0:29:38] Jon Gabrus:** one about each Beatle. Yeah, **[0:29:39] Sean Hayes:** are is that? oh, really? That's amazing. **[0:29:41] Jon Gabrus:** uh, Adams and a couple of them as the That's man, one of the managers. **[0:29:44] Sean Hayes:** that's incredible. There's four Moo- he's doing four movies. **[0:29:47] Adam Pally:** yeah. And you play the same character in each movie, i in I a different, do. you well, you play Sean Hayes' other, you're the Indigo girl to the you don't know this, Wait, did you but **[0:29:55] Sean Hayes:** say I'm an Indigo? I'm an Indigo You're playing yourself, you're girl? an Indigo oh, you're, you're playing girl. **[0:29:58] Adam Pally:** you're playing the Indigo girl. Yes, and actually, there's a big lawsuit. No, um, **[0:30:03] Sean Hayes:** Well, I'm closer to fine. Yeah, what do you do for? what do you do for lines? Do? How do you guys memorize lines? Like, do s do you have a designated spot in your in your house or your apartment or whatever that you like you, that is just for that? Or do you get somebody to run with you, or how I need do you do a PA, it? **[0:30:18] Adam Pally:** I need a PA, and I need to do it, like, r repetitiously cold, where it's literally, like, over and over again, each line. What did I miss? What did I get wrong? I gotta say it again, and then I gotta put that sentence with the next one, and I gotta put that with the next one, and then I gotta put it all together until I have the whole play. **[0:30:33] Sean Hayes:** so you don't have to think about it. that's Yeah, **[0:30:36] Adam Pally:** how I do it. I, I **[0:30:37] Sean Hayes:** what do we got? **[0:30:37] Jon Gabrus:** have to write it, I have to write it the first time. Oh, you And if I'm like, when do, I'm trying to go off book, off book, I have to write all my lines out. And then I kind of, like, write the my lines of the script on a sheet of paper and then run it a bunch. But then I'll always, just every once in a while, go back to my lines, like they're poems, and just, like, where, where's right, that's the sense of it? **[0:30:54] Jon Gabrus:** great. Yeah, and But writing, **[0:30:55] Sean Hayes:** it ends up being like a song, or, yeah, and like, yeah, **[0:30:57] Jon Gabrus:** writing it is, I think, a holdover from, like, being a kid and just being like, taking notes in class. And it, eh, hitting in a different way than, like, and memorizing it that way. **[0:31:06] Sean Hayes:** yeah, for sure. **[0:31:07] Jon Gabrus:** What about you? What do you Just kidding, **[0:31:08] Sean Hayes:** do? I just did, um, um, I don't, I just decided not to. I just don't memorize You just **[0:31:13] Jon Gabrus:** go up there wide-eyed and people are just clapping cause you're Sean. And you're like, and it's like, **[0:31:17] Adam Pally:** I, I saw one of your **[0:31:18] Jon Gabrus:** he didn't say a word. plays, I It's interesting **[0:31:21] Adam Pally:** saw one of your plays choice with in Chicago. **[0:31:22] Jon Gabrus:** Sean Hayes. **[0:31:24] Sean Hayes:** yeah, no, no, I just I just say whatever I feel in that I gotta get to moment. No, **[0:31:27] Adam Pally:** that level. **[0:31:27] Sean Hayes:** I, no, um, no. I just did a one like a they call them solo plays, but a one-man show called The Unknown, where I played ten different characters. It was a thriller, and it was really fucking fucked up. It was, um, incredibly written, but memorizing, I just did kind of what Adam, you, you said, just by r- I have a place in my room in a corner with a thing, and I just started. It's like it's an hour and ten minutes monologue, and so you just start memorizing it. **[0:31:55] Sean Hayes:** And one time, like show, I've said this story before, but one time, like show sixty, seventy, I don't know. After you do it for so long, there's this character, Larry, and of course, I play all the parts. And the line is, um, you know, I go, I go to his apartment, I buzz the door, Larry answers, and Larry kind of just talks, you know, like that, and so I go, I buzz the door, and Larry answers. **[0:32:16] Sean Hayes:** And I waited for whoever was playing Larry to say their line, and I was like, cause I was so on autopilot, I was like, waiting, and why isn't? Oh shit, that's me, too. God bless, I play Larry too. **[0:32:28] Adam Pally:** well, that's and that that's like dreaming in another language, you know, where you're **[0:32:32] Sean Hayes:** it's crazy. **[0:32:32] Adam Pally:** like, I, I, I sort of know Spanish, and then you're like, in your dream, you know Spanish, and you're like, whoa, you know, that's what that that is like. I mean, that's I couldn't imagine like the dreamest. **[0:32:41] Jon Gabrus:** doing like a hour-long, uh, word perfect one-person show would you can make me do it, you guys I, I would, **[0:32:46] Sean Hayes:** can do it. **[0:32:47] Jon Gabrus:** I'm gonna have stress diarrhea, just imagining I that. I would y- I, I bet fail horribly. **[0:32:50] Adam Pally:** I could do it, but it I bet, I bet I could do it cause I did the other one. But it would just take the same length of time and effort to, like, make it song like, you just make yeah, it's just like it like a **[0:33:01] Sean Hayes:** a song. thing that you People are like, how do you memorize memorize. all those lines? Like, we memorize an album, your favorite album? no, completely. The I Yeah, **[0:33:06] Adam Pally:** still have, though. I wonder if you still have this, I still have, especially, I don't sleep that much, but I do have a re a recurring stress dream **[0:33:13] Sean Hayes:** please tell me what it where is. **[0:33:15] Adam Pally:** where I'm about. It's like I'm in the theater. I'm I'm at 2nd stage, I'm in the theater, and I'm, like, in my dressing room, in the the costume and the the PA, and sometimes it's a PA, sometimes it's someone I Stage manager, know. Yeah, sometimes, or it's like that changes, but they're Sometimes it's like, **[0:33:34] Jon Gabrus:** McGruff, the crime dog, you know, it's a dream. It's like, sometimes, yeah. It's like **[0:33:38] Sean Hayes:** I had a crime. sometimes it's like it's dead, **[0:33:38] Jon Gabrus:** it's exactly. **[0:33:39] Adam Pally:** sometimes it's animated, dead. It's like it could be any, but. But they're like, you know, you, you, you gotta go on, you gotta like, you're late, you're late, you're late, you know? And I'm like, What do you mean? Late? I've been in here the whole time, yeah, it's and then, like, **[0:33:51] Sean Hayes:** the worst. **[0:33:51] Adam Pally:** I and then I get on stage and I don't know the play anymore. It's like, I don't know that play anymore. Like, I I don't even know know, you the first line know, and of it, and I'm just looking at the audience. And I and and then it goes like, the you your mind goes to, like, you skip the that part, and then you you're after the show and people are like, What happened? And like, now that's part of your dream, and you're like, Oh my god, I'm having a a n nightmare, but but you know? **[0:34:18] Sean Hayes:** you know, what I think is crazies? The eight shows a week, like, who started that? Well, obviously, producers did, to make money, because the more shows you do, the more money. But it's like, I think it's inhuman and like, peop- like, no, it's. It makes it not fun after six months or or five months or four months, you know? It's like, I have to do I still have to eight. It's something like eighty shows. You're like, no, I shouldn't be doing this play eighty times in a row. **[0:34:42] Sean Hayes:** And a matinee, Yeah, it's gotta a matinee at this keeping the magic up point, **[0:34:44] Jon Gabrus:** with that shit has gotta be fucking hard as hell, So, especially too. a matinee you can't at **[0:34:48] Adam Pally:** at this point. **[0:34:48] Sean Hayes:** eight 00:00 every night, you can't have a headache, you can't have a stomachache, you can't be upset at your partner, you can't be you can't feel anything other than be **[0:34:58] Jon Gabrus:** The show must go on. right. Yeah, it's Yeah, just fucking awful well, when you do, **[0:35:01] Sean Hayes:** and great, by the way. **[0:35:02] Jon Gabrus:** when you're when you're in, when you're in a deep like that, a Are you changing any of your normal behaviors? Are you like when you're cause? W- traditionally, **[0:35:09] Sean Hayes:** I go to the doctor male, t 25,000 times during a Well, you're show. **[0:35:12] Adam Pally:** an infamous hypochondriac. You had a podcast about it. But, like, you're also super healthy. Those things are actually con- co- I mean, you are, probably cause you're talking tied together. Honestly, a lot. Yeah, tho- those things are probably tied together in a way. **[0:35:27] Sean Hayes:** well, I'm, I think I'm finally, I'm getting on the road to being healthy. But now, but um, because I I I think I ate for a different podcast about psychological reasons, uh, but that's for a different show. But, um, but yeah, I I f- to to to keep that up, you know, on, uh, doing a show like that, I do. I f- I. I go to the vocal coach a lot, like the vocal doctor, cause I was like, I I'm screaming a lot in the show. **[0:35:54] Sean Hayes:** Can I make sure that I'm not blowing my vocal cords out? And then I'll stick the fucking camera on the tube down there and like, you know, you just **[0:36:02] Jon Gabrus:** that just gave me like, the Oh god, cat reflexes. it's so **[0:36:05] Sean Hayes:** and there's a camera, he's like, say, I, uh, how can you talk? I have cameras down my throat. But um, and so that that's that'll freak me out that. And then just staying healthy because of the guilt of people buying tickets to come see you from all over the world. You know, it's like, Oh God, I don't want, like, **[0:36:21] Adam Pally:** you got a lot of that Catholic you know, it's the guilt, Sean. **[0:36:22] Sean Hayes:** pressure is like, crazy. What's that? **[0:36:24] Adam Pally:** You got a lot of that Catholic guilt. DuH, believe me, couple You know what that with the I mean? gay, the Catholic It's like, gay. Oh my god, Yeah, Jesus redundant. Christ, literally, you're, you got way more to worry about than the people that bought the tickets. **[0:36:39] Jon Gabrus:** Yeah, brother, you have hell coming up. What are you stressed about? Them? **[0:36:44] Sean Hayes:** call the matinee, that's the hell that is, These blue hairs too. **[0:36:49] Adam Pally:** don't know what I do. **[0:36:51] Sean Hayes:** I got a hell coming up, it's brilliant. **[0:36:53] Jon Gabrus:** D. So this is what we're talking about, like, we're athletes. That's when you're in season, like, traditionally, our careers are maybe a little every day is a little Kevin flow different. But then when you get into that, you have to lock in. And are you like, are you like, I gotta exercise at noon, I eat, I I, I gotta eat this meal at three, I can't have a coffee after two, right, that's like, are you? right. **[0:37:13] Jon Gabrus:** Yes, that's What? What are you the thing. Oh, locking into **[0:37:14] Sean Hayes:** this is good. **[0:37:15] Jon Gabrus:** with that? **[0:37:15] Sean Hayes:** That's the thing. Because before, like, let's my shows are at seven, cause I'm like, contra- when we were doing the contract, it was like, I'm not doing eight, I'm doing seven o'clock Oh, hell yeah, a and I'm only doing because you seven a week. **[0:37:25] Adam Pally:** because eight means you're out at eleven, Yeah, seven means I'm which is home at a decent lovely. hour. Like, Yeah, **[0:37:30] Sean Hayes:** and I wish it was a six so that you could do the show and then eat. Well, because brother, it's all about six is eating. So, John, that's that's perfect, brother. A exactly right. **[0:37:36] Adam Pally:** six show would be better for the audience. But, like, The eight after, **[0:37:39] Sean Hayes:** by the way, by the way, I'll, I'll one better you. Let's do five. While we're talking about you know let's do five what, no o'clock. **[0:37:44] Adam Pally:** one works anymore. Five is perfect, Get there, five is perfect. **[0:37:47] Sean Hayes:** but I'm still at work. Not my problem. That's when the tickets start, Answer that's when the show email in the in ends. **[0:37:51] Adam Pally:** the intermission. **[0:37:52] Sean Hayes:** Yeah, and the cab on the way over. Yeah, **[0:37:53] Adam Pally:** Yes, totally, we. I, eh? I think we're gonna take a do my next play at a WeWork. **[0:37:57] Sean Hayes:** that's right. Why not? At a podcast But studio. but it is all about food, Johnny. It's like it's like, you know, you eat at, um, so so you gotta make sure you eat lunch at the right time so it digests, so you don't have acid reflux to give you phlegm so you can't speak or or yell or do your lines. So then you're starving by the end of the show. So when it gets out at nine, ten, eleven, whatever it is, you're like, Well, it's too late to eat now, because now I'm gonna lay flat and all the acid reflux from the food. **[0:38:32] Sean Hayes:** So it's har- really fucking hard to figure out when you're gonna eat. **[0:38:35] Jon Gabrus:** or you get off stage Because, and you gotta, like, shake hands with, like, your six cousins that came to see you, and you're just that's right, like, I need to get fucking wait, pasta asap, brother, **[0:38:42] Sean Hayes:** asap, and I need to go to bed. This is all about sleep, like **[0:38:45] Adam Pally:** and like, pressure, sleep. everything, is about Big **[0:38:47] Sean Hayes:** sleep. If you i if you're tired and you have to perform, you can't open your throat to make your vocal cords make sound. You know what I mean? But this Like, **[0:38:54] Jon Gabrus:** guy's definitely going to hell, talking about dinosaurs and shit. no, but it's it's the it's it it **[0:39:01] Adam Pally:** it is really hard. And was it like that? Was it like that when you were on the multicam? **[0:39:06] Sean Hayes:** No, I didn't think about it, which is You were just probably, you know, like out there, yeah, **[0:39:10] Adam Pally:** and then you would have the **[0:39:10] Sean Hayes:** yeah, drinking. sunset marquee I was just fucking drunk after and like, every night. Yeah, **[0:39:13] Adam Pally:** Yeah, oh, no, we would film, I we talk about it all the time, we would film. F- we were on a single cam, but when Happy Endings was over, we had a standing table at the Sunset Marquee that, like, was used probably for ev- for for like, seventy-five episodes. isn't that great? That's Yeah, it was the it was great, yeah, the best time of my life, like, it was awesome. I wish **[0:39:31] Sean Hayes:** yeah, it was great. **[0:39:32] Jon Gabrus:** uh, my whole thing would be, if forgive me, but would be about pooping. I'd be like, I need to make sure I get, Wouldn't figure that like, I wouldn't out, want to have **[0:39:40] Sean Hayes:** like the timing. **[0:39:40] Jon Gabrus:** to feel like I had one on deck on stage. I feel like it would affect me well, yeah, in the next, yeah, **[0:39:44] Sean Hayes:** well, I would, uh, but that's the thing. During a run of a show, my poops are fucking great because all the anxiety and all this stuff makes it go right through. **[0:39:54] Jon Gabrus:** you're like, lock the fuck in, yeah, yeah. yeah, but every same time, **[0:39:57] Adam Pally:** same place. uh, usually, yeah, usually, Yeah, that's **[0:40:01] Sean Hayes:** but when I'm not doing it, Eighty-five it's like, Oh, percent of the time, man, **[0:40:04] Jon Gabrus:** it's in the toilet. Yeah, **[0:40:05] Adam Pally:** no, no, yeah, it is. But one they're the one of the to make sure one, but on of that. **[0:40:08] Sean Hayes:** the on, the on the one man show, I just the unknown, I just did. It's, um, I would dope, but my stomach would get rumbly, and it, b- I would just be just be me, standing behind the curtain, waiting for places, right, which was already in my place. And the stage manager would walk by every single night and be like, Uh, great, you ready? I'd be like, Great, I'm ready. But a lot of the times, I would let one rip right before she walked by, and, uh, that, because I couldn't. **[0:40:32] Sean Hayes:** Wa- I didn't wanna do it during the stage, cause then everybody would hear it. So she'd be like, Be ready. Now I am, yeah, every single night. And people we're holding for Sh say, people **[0:40:40] Jon Gabrus:** we're holding for Sean's part, say, Yeah, we're holding for Sean's part. Has he farted yet? Like, everyone's like, over, walking, it's it's interesting, **[0:40:46] Sean Hayes:** Yeah, it's just like places cause people say and parts, it, parts people say of of it, **[0:40:48] Adam Pally:** the, uh, Will and Grace cast, you were one of the easiest to work with, but so that's an interesting story. **[0:40:57] Sean Hayes:** yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, terrific. I'll I'll corroborate that. **[0:41:04] Adam Pally:** I can corroborate that. Yeah, just Oh, **[0:41:07] Jon Gabrus:** to talk fitness for a sec, yeah, go ahead, uh, Danny. before you get out of here. Uh, you said, like, you go to the trainer and you hate it, but you continue to do it because you are. A t. Explain to us, are you seeing results? are you? Cause one thing we and Adam talk about a lot is like, when you were younger, you didn't believe anyone who said, like, if I don't exercise, I feel crazy. **[0:41:28] Jon Gabrus:** That sounds stupid. Now I do feel that I get **[0:41:31] Sean Hayes:** yeah, I do. depressed after day four Yes, I **[0:41:32] Jon Gabrus:** of not exercising. **[0:41:33] Sean Hayes:** do. I I agree, and it's like, you know, just I'm I, and this is you guys are catching me. Like, this is just in the past, like two months or month. I'm like, actually look forward a little bit. Go like, I fucking hate it, but when I'm there, I'm so glad I went, and knowing that feeling makes me go back. It's like the results. Uh, yeah, I am feeling results for the first time in a long time. **[0:41:53] Adam Pally:** And mentally is just as important. **[0:41:55] Sean Hayes:** Yeah, for sure. And you get back to, you know, your physique that you used to have when you were a little bit younger. You know what I mean? And you're like, Oh, this is like, I'm looking, you know, when you take your shirt off, you're not so depressed anymore. Oh God, You know what I mean? **[0:42:08] Adam Pally:** I look forward to that day. I'm still I'm gonna don't be lazy, light a candle, Johnny. I'm bad, I'm gonna light baby. a candle. **[0:42:14] Jon Gabrus:** Sorry, I got super depressed and had to shut my my camera off. I'm a pregnant, **[0:42:17] Adam Pally:** I'm, I'm a, I'm a pregnant cow. I gotta take my shirt off. I'm a fucking yeah, no, but like, **[0:42:24] Sean Hayes:** aren't you guys? Don't you guys feel like you're on your way to, like, getting back into, like, what you used to look like? Yeah, **[0:42:29] Adam Pally:** I, I feel better in the last since we started getting our this podcast, lives together with this podcast. I feel a ton better. I don't know if I look a ton better, like You do, I, I've been saying a even bet lot, like I **[0:42:39] Jon Gabrus:** even better, buddy. **[0:42:40] Adam Pally:** feel I feel like I. I work so hard to look like shit that it's like, it's. It's truly frustrating, but that may just be that may be okay, as long as I'm here, you know, I've been saying like, okay, **[0:42:51] Jon Gabrus:** I'm aging like a fine toilet wine. **[0:42:55] Sean Hayes:** do do do you wait, John, do you have a girlfriend? **[0:42:58] Jon Gabrus:** Uh, no, I'm, uh, p- post-divorced, I in the streets, and the sheets, I guess. **[0:43:02] Sean Hayes:** Yeah, okay, got it. I was gonna say, so, so, Adam, this is for you I'm married, then, dude, **[0:43:07] Adam Pally:** I I'm married and I have a girlfriend. **[0:43:08] Sean Hayes:** right, right. Okay, what? The f- that's perfect. Okay, let me ask you, do both of them care about enough to to give you notes about how you look before you leave the house? Or are you just like, No, I don't wanna hear it. I'm just wearing a T-shirt and this is what my hair looks like, and I'm this is I don't care. **[0:43:30] Adam Pally:** Oh, no, no, the f- the first, You ha- you have uh, **[0:43:33] Sean Hayes:** to put yourself together. **[0:43:35] Adam Pally:** yeah, yeah, yeah, d I can't. And if e- even if I like, take a swing, like the other day, I I bought this, like, uh, green t-shirt, right? It's not, it's not wild. There's I have no logo **[0:43:50] Sean Hayes:** a white Amish girlfriend. **[0:43:52] Adam Pally:** there's no logo on it, there's no. It's just like, not white and not black, it's it's green, green, it's like mint green. And I wore it downstairs at, like, seven in the morning, uh, on the way to take the kids to school. And my wife goes, You're going to that meeting like that? And I was like, What? and she's like, I thought you had a meeting later. I was like, I do, and she's like, And you're wearing what is that T-shirt? **[0:44:16] Adam Pally:** I was like, I what? I just got this. She's like, you just got that. I was like, Okay, okay, I like **[0:44:24] Sean Hayes:** And then you have to change, yeah, **[0:44:24] Adam Pally:** and I have to change. Because then the whole day, I'll be like, Is this T-shirt really bad? Like, really Well, you can bad? say, you can tell I'm divorced, **[0:44:34] Jon Gabrus:** cause I have a fucking oh, that's a great kids T-shirt. cartoon shirt on. Yeah, what are you **[0:44:38] Adam Pally:** gonna tell? **[0:44:40] Jon Gabrus:** There's this designer named Wizard of Barge, who does these really cool, kind of, like, art that's cool. things. Yeah, Yeah, we're **[0:44:44] Adam Pally:** and you can tell I'm living the married because my mother-in-law sleeps in my office. **[0:44:49] Sean Hayes:** is that your wife? is that true? **[0:44:50] Jon Gabrus:** yeah, oh, what? what? Uh, that's why you've been so quiet this whole. Oh, she's She's, she's asleep. **[0:44:55] Sean Hayes:** Sleeping right now? **[0:44:56] Adam Pally:** Yeah, but it we t but she's actually awake, but the aids, Is that the hearing aids are down. **[0:45:01] Sean Hayes:** is that? is that the girl? When you said wife and girlfriend? **[0:45:05] Adam Pally:** Buddy, one of them. Uh, anyway, wow, Sean, thank that's You're the you so much for best, Sean. **[0:45:12] Jon Gabrus:** coming on, Staying Alive. has been amazing. Thank But yeah, you. Yeah, pal. Yeah, Thank you. This was this is, that's awesome. fun. **[0:45:15] Sean Hayes:** you guys are awesome, you're doing such a great job. I, you know, you're two of the funniest people on the face of the planet. Well, we'll see you And, uh, **[0:45:21] Jon Gabrus:** at the next People Magazine Sexiest, Uh, Men of the Year, uh, great, I'm on issue. **[0:45:25] Sean Hayes:** my way now. I'm ordering We're not it now, **[0:45:26] Adam Pally:** sexy, it's a podcast. **[0:45:26] Sean Hayes:** we're we're ordering this T-shirt. Sexiest You're wearing that that's the T-shirt, T-shirt. **[0:45:30] Adam Pally:** that's the T-shirt. Yeah, what, what? I'm Just letting out a fine, I just big fart don't next to Jason Momoa thought about it. But yeah, **[0:45:36] Jon Gabrus:** before he goes in to take your photo. **[0:45:40] Adam Pally:** Momoa, you wanna get pumped up? Momoa I'm not drinking that much anymore, so **[0:45:49] Sean Hayes:** balance, dude, balance. **[0:45:50] Adam Pally:** it's all about balance. He's like, What? Hey, Jack, I'm trying to work on my lines. All right, all right, dude, well, take Thank you so much, care. **[0:46:01] Sean Hayes:** thanks guys. **[0:46:01] Jon Gabrus:** Sean, man, that was fun. I do, like, he's such a pro podcaster. Like, I think three times, he's like, So, my nutrition plan is as simple Well, he was definitely as **[0:46:12] Adam Pally:** like checking my watch. He at one time, I think he l- leaned in to look at my watch, he had. He once like, How long he said, he was it? **[0:46:19] Jon Gabrus:** said, I feel bad you guys are going long. I was like, hint taken, brother. **[0:46:26] Adam Pally:** Yeah, I did wanna get into a little bit more of his weed intake, but **[0:46:29] Jon Gabrus:** Yeah, I know well. Now we have a new goal is to get high with the boss. **[0:46:32] Adam Pally:** with Sean. Yeah, we've gotta Yeah, cause, like, I've done that with Will, and his version is like eating ice cream in Sag Harbor. **[0:46:40] Jon Gabrus:** nah. Hey, that sounds like a fucking And it's fine, great, yeah, **[0:46:43] Adam Pally:** but it's like, I wanna get stoned, **[0:46:46] Jon Gabrus:** yeah, I wanna get high with Sean. I think I would fucking, uh, laugh to the point of cheeks hurting, hanging out with him, fucking dude. He reminds stoned. **[0:46:53] Adam Pally:** me so much of, like, there's certain guys that you meet. I feel like we've. We brought this name up all the time, like Tim Meadows, or there are just certain guys like that. Like, we could make a list of in our lives, in our collective, like, career and lives, that they just make you laugh. Like, you could just sit with them and say something, and whatever they say back will make you laugh. And I feel like Sean Hayes, Tim Meadows, like, that's the top of that list. **[0:47:17] Jon Gabrus:** yeah, oh man, this gonna be a fucking. I'm like, uh, pretending like it actually is happening. I'm like, Oh man, this gonna be so fun. We should have a staying alive rap party, we should make, uh, and put together a staying alive rap party. **[0:47:29] Adam Pally:** that would be so good, no one would show up. I know Stay alive. **[0:47:34] Jon Gabrus:** fuck. You have been listening to Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. **[0:47:46] Adam Pally:** Produced by Devon Torrey Bryant and Anne Harris, engineered and edited by Devon Torrey Bryant, who also wrote the music. Associate producer and video producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano, assistant engineer Kyle McGraw. Special thanks to Jared O'Connell at SiriusXM. Executive producers are Jon Gabrus, ooh, me, Adam Pally, ooh, you, Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Rich Korson, and Bernie Kaminski. Do us a favor, just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps. Just so everyone knows, we do not have a Discord. **[0:48:19] Adam Pally:** Don't reach out to us, see us on the street, walk the other way, or you'll catch hands. I like, we Yeah, **[0:48:29] Jon Gabrus:** should create a mystique around Jason now that he's the only boss that hasn't done it. That, like, he's kind of, uh, he's, he's like, he's our, uh, we have beef with him. **[0:48:37] Adam Pally:** well, I emailed Jason to come on, and he said he won't come on until we put a full blue tint on the video. **[0:48:44] Jon Gabrus:** He, he says, Make it go, make it go, Ozark for me. **[0:48:47] Adam Pally:** Yeah, he needs it to be more Ozark. **[0:48:48] Speaker 4:** Smart, blessed.